The Bravest thing I've done so far

I did go back to performing fully; and
all my students did so well, and still continuous to reap the fruits of our labor up to this date.

I told myself over and over that I don't want to be a part of something that doesn't make sense anymore...and I did just that..I left the relationship.

What next?
It's not easy to turn my back away from a relationship I valued so much, and a career I've worked hard on. But I really don' t see the sense in staying in a relationship that is not working...it wasn't healthy for me anymore.And you see without a relationship, I have no more reason to stay in the country.

Leaving the relationship just opened up the whole world for me.
And a whole New world of possibilities. =)
I'm closing this blog and starting Anew.

This Philippine Trip is for the Family.

Opening a new blog
http://nabrissa.blogspot.com/

The Rebirth

 I'm pursuing my authentic self in full force. And when  I say authentic it means "weird" in layman's term. Ha! ha! ha! Yes, I'am weird , artistic, and creative...I'm now learning to accept and embrace that part of myself. I will no longer try to "fit in". I would like to be a part of the spiritual movement while I'm here.

I pray and cleanse every morning.

And I've been holding on to trees and touching leaves and flowers...and watching birds...and it'w wonderful....

The fun part is, my brothers bird watch as-well

It's fun being around my siblings because we share common traits...

I'm also at the midst of gathering my songs...

And I feel very empowered and at peace with myself....

Time stops when I write and sing...

It is not something I force myself to do...

I got shortlisted for the song writer scholarship =D

I met a wonderful caring man who moves things as fast as his love for fast cars....which is a good thing because it shows that he knows what he want;  and I on the other hand, also knows what I want in life . Yes, I want to settle down and have kids...in due time.







And I have time... I have time to pursue my craft in the Philippines. To do my charity work. To learn the ways of a domesticated life.  I would like to know how to manage a house. I'm doing well so far. I've started cooking breakfast for my little brother, clean house, attend to the dogs and all of that stuff. Yes! I'm learning "wife" skills.
 Yes, this is happening!


I've gone full indie!

The Breakfast I prepared

Spending Time with Family

Of course I do eventually want to settle down, so I have to keep my eyes open. 

I’m looking forward to travel and pursue my other passions in life…and even go back to studying.

In the meantime, I’m planning to spend time with the family, work with charitable organizations, develop my spirituality and pursue my art.

I cannot go back

I cannot go back to that old reality which revolved around confusion, weakness, and sadness.

I'am to create a new reality which suits my higher being...one which fully serves the purpose that I'm created for.

I'm closing that part of my life. That fun filled, youthful, careless, confusing, tormenting, depressing part of my life ....and I'm sending it my love as we part ways.  That part of my life will always live in me.

Musings of a 30 year old - Think Forrest Gump

Relationships are complicated because, in any relationship “expectations” is only quite normal. I mean, that’s what makes it a relationship…it is two ways…if it is one way then it’s kind of a monologue… Or, I don’t know.  You engage in a moment with someone because you expect…you expect kindness, trust, sincerity and all of that…you expect that it’s safe and you can get things done together, or cherish the time together.

Expectations exist because time is crucial. If you give your time to someone, who you don’t expect to treat you right, then isn’t it only a waste of time? Not unless, you’re in it for the “life experience”. Besides, how can you take care of yourself and your time if you don’t demand, or at least, expect people to respect you?  Isn’t that masochistic? Not unless you are so independent that you don’t really need people to respect you in order to feel your “self-worth”. Okay let’s set aside the “feeling” part of it. This is a “doing” world, if you don’t have people behaving properly , then how are you ever going to do anything great , or very least, productive? We are social animals... we need each other... we need the right people to interact with.

But the world is not always as any idealist would want it to be. It is full of lies, insecurities, backstabbing, manipulation, comparison, judgement, selfishness…and in some parts of the world- total cruelty.
Time is limited. You let go of what doesn’t work and move forward. To determine how long one should try overcoming a predicament is a grueling task. End of the day, you go back to God and ask your creator “Is this your will, God?”

Things are easier when you actually let go of what you “want” in life…Things are easier when your logical...Things are easier when you have faith…when you surrender to God’s will…that’s the easiest and most logical thing to do I suppose.

It is a “doing” world…it is a “living” world…where you simply live and do what you can …and do what is right… think Forrest Gump.

You see my thoughts are not well arranged. Just thinking out loud.

Calling Mother Earth

I asked my higher self 

to reincarnate in me.

And so it started. On my own.

 Bus towards the mystical mountain.

Total water immersion 

is a symbolism 

that I'm letting everything go.

Mother Earth.

North, East, West, and South...

"Kevin Costner danced with the wolves, I swam with the horses"

Musings before 30 ...

In the span of my not-so-experienced life, I have asked over and over what life is all about. The society has created its own standards I have so little concern for…mostly because much of it doesn't make sense to me. I believe at the end of the day, no matter how others would judge you, it is you and you alone who would solely be accountable for your own life…meaning to say- you create your own heaven and hell.

Life for me is a gift…a gift to experience…a gift to feel, see, touch, smell, taste…a gift to grow…to share...to love.. And as I've mentioned in my old posts, life is a gift that comes with…(Spider-man quote) Great Responsibility ! Because you see, we are all sharing one world…so we have to practice responsible living. Ha! Ha! Ha! Responsible living – don’t become a parasite! Parasites have their own part to play in the world and you have yours. Be a human being…be responsible…grow and share…

It is inevitable, and in fact, it is necessary for such a diverse human society to have a set of standards…rules and regulations…to create and enforce law! Whether I like it or not, I’m a subject to these standards, but it doesn't mean I cannot question them. Cultural, Societal, Governmental Standards…who created all of these? You see you have to constantly question, even religious standards. Once you follow blindly, you are in trouble; but once you question, you are socially castrated. Ha! Ha! Ha! What can I say, we are still evolving and our race is comparatively young against…well…the whole universe.

Isn't it interesting? To be reminded that we are just a speck in the vastness of this space?

Once you step out of that centered consciousness rooted in this realm…this society… can you feel it? That despite death, you are eternal? That- “Energy cannot be destroyed, only transformed”. That you are part God, alpha and omega which creates and recreates.

Snap! Snap! Let’s go back to earth.

What I know right now, is that, this world can use more idealists who are willing to work courageously for what is true and good. And you can start right where you are, you don’t need to go up to the mountains. You can start by being kind…by being polite…with your own family , right where you are.

I have a bad temper. I don’t get angry easily but when I do…I transform. Well I’m not proud it. I’m learning.

I was told that I should focus my energy and just do one thing because obviously I don’t have all the time in the world. So many things to do, so little time. I’m like a bunny rabbit bouncing off walls. I’m always sugar high. Do I need a mature man to stabilize and ground me? I don’t know. For now, I will stay sugar high. I tried being grounded.

There is so much work to do. I'ts not easy to do the right thing...specially when it's summer and all you want to do is bask under the sun...wear bikinis and all. ha! ha! ha!

Wow ! First time I wrote something so long again ! Snap! Snap!